Day 30 - Your reflection

All I can think of when I see this, is Reflection by Christina Aguilera.


Here goes Nothing.

Dear Reflection,

I am sorry I judge you so harshly but I can't help it. I avoid looking at you, you're not the person you once were. Although, I have accepted the fact that I changed once I had a child, I don't look like the old me. I look like someone else. I don't recognize myself. Maybe one day I will get the old me back. I want the old reflection back. I can't stand this one.

Day 29 - The person that you want to tell everything to, but too afraid to

Before I begin, I feel terrible for being MIA with this for such a long period of time. But, I've just been preoccupied. I should be sleeping right now, and in the morning I will regret staying up to type this. Insomnia sucks that way.

Anyway,

I don't really have a person I can write this too. I am really a wear my heart on my sleeve kind of person. The people who I want to know me, know me. I am really a boring person, and don't have these intimate, deep, dark secrets that I would be afraid to tell someone. I don't have any terrible skeletons in my closets, and I am not ashamed of my past. So, fear isn't an issue.


Stephanie

I was Duped.

So, I was looking for some new moisturizer for my face. I am a total sucker for pretty things, and anything PINK! So, Clearly when I saw these....
I HAD to have them.. Then I saw that they had No Parabens, No Phthalates, No Mineral Oil, No PABA, No Petrolatum, No Paraffin, and No Animal ingredients. I was like hey that's great! So when I get home, I'm like.. Ok, I know everything they DON'T have.. Let's look into everything they DO have. So I start reading the ingredients and to my surprise the ingredients in both the Day and the Night cream are EXACTLY the same! I mean, I guess I don't have to really about worrying about running out of one, cause I could use the other.. But, I seriously though I was getting different formulas. So I am little upset, and it's pretty misleading. I am still going to try it out though. I did use it last night and today. I did wake up with a couple blemishes, but I kind of already expected that since my monthly curse is about to rear her ugly head. So, it's unfair to say they caused it. But, I am going to continue and use them. I do have to say though, they smell amazing and leave my face feeling so soft.. So, if anything, I could always use it on my body if I don't like it on my face.

Day 28 - Someone that changed your life

Dear Tristan,

You are my sunshine. You are the light in my life. There's nothing I wouldn't do for you. You are my motivation and the spirit in my life. I don't know how I ever lived before you. Sometimes you may drive Mommy crazy, but every time you smile, I can't help but forget about whatever it was that upset me. No one will ever come before you. I promise I will do everything to the best of my ability, to make sure you have everything you need, and most of what you want! I never thought I could love someone as much as I love you. You are my Miracle and the reason I was put on this earth. I am so proud of the things you have been doing. I know it's not always easy for you, but I promise to help you as much as I can, and be the best Mommy I can be. I want nothing but the best for you, and I will do whatever it takes.


You're Mommy's little Angel.
I hope I make you as proud as you make me.


Love always, Mommy!

Autism Evalution Results

First of all, I wanted to thank you all for the amazing support and messages that I received in regards to Tristan! I can't tell you how much it warms my heart to have such amazing friends and family!


Here's the update. We went to Tristan's Autism Evaluation. The good news is, he hasn't been diagnosed with Autism. The bad news is, He has been diagnosed with PDD-NOS. As explained to be by Tristan's Speech Therapist. PDD is like an umbrella, and underneath that umbrella is an array of disabilities. One of the categories is Autism. They can't diagnose Tristan with Autism, because he doesn't have enough of the characteristics of Autism. But they fall within the same category. It's difficult the explain, and it's something I don't think I really have the grasp of. Here's the link for more information on Tristan's Diagnosis if you're interested.

http://www.autismspeaks.org/navigating/pdd_nos.php


Pervasive Developmental Disorder - Not Otherwise Specified, or PDD-NOS, for short, is a condition on the spectrum that has those with it exhibiting some, but not all, of the symptoms associated with classic autism. That can include difficulty socializing with others, repetitive behaviors, and heightened sensitivities to certain stimuli.

How it's similar to classic autism

Those with PDD-NOS behave like those with classic autism in many ways. First, they are all different (meaning one person with PDD-NOS doesn't act exactly like another; the same holds true for classic autism). When interacting with others, they may appear unemotional or unable to speak, they could have trouble holding eye contact, or they may have trouble transitioning quickly from one activity to the next.

How diagnosis differs

Those with PDD-NOS are different from others on the spectrum in one specific way: While they may exhibit some symptoms of those conditions, they don't fit the bill closely enough to fully satisfy all criteria set by the experts. Perhaps they started having difficulties at a much later age than others on the spectrum. (According to the National Dissemination Center for Children with Disabilities, they are often diagnosed between the ages of 3 and 4 years old.) Or they may have the same challenges — for example, they may be oversensitive to their surroundings — but not to the extreme that others on the spectrum do.

Consequently, those with PDD-NOS are sometimes thought to have a "milder" form of autism, though this may not be technically true. One symptom may be minor, while another may be worse.


-I would really like to know if there's anyone else with children diagnosed with the same thing or with autism . I am wanting to gain more information on what I can/ should do to be a better parent to Tristan.

For those of you concerned about me, Don't be! I am perfectly fine with everything that's going on. I've acknowledged Tristan's delays for a long time. I have been handling the things he's been going through since day 1. So it's really no different. We just now have a title, and we can get the help we need to move forward.

Everything happens for a reason. Tristan is such a good kid and he's got some pretty amazing talents. I am very proud of how far he's come, and I am so thankful for him to have such an amazing Speech Therapist! So again, thank you everyone for everything! It means so much to me and Tristan!


-Stephanie