This one was the easiest. Of all the boyfriends I have ever had, there is one that will always stand out in my mind. And that, will never change.
Dear First Love.
I think of you often. Especially when my little sister speaks of her first love. I think back to the feelings I had for you. I don't think I will ever love someone the same as the way I loved you. They say there's always someone who will always a have piece of your heart, and that person for me, will always be you. Everytime I think back, I think back to fun things and the good times we had. Like the heart necklace you gave me for my birthday. The time we skipped school and spent the entire day snuggling with each other on the couch watching movies. I think back on so many songs that always remind me of you. I remember hanging out on Friday nights. Staying up as late as we could talking on the phone. I remember the love letters we would write. I had them for the longest time. I remember your song for me. I play it from time to time, and it takes me back. I miss you, I miss us. And I so thankful for you to have been in my life. I couldn't have chosen a better first love.
Love you always,
Butterfly.
Saturday, July 31, 2010
Friday, July 30, 2010
Day 6- A Stranger
Dear Jade.
I know you will never see this. But here's the story from my perspective. I know yours is vastly different. But in my eyes, YOU were the Angel.
My mom and I were driving to Daytona, I was roughly 12, maybe. My mom had bought me new clothes to wear to meet her new boyfriend. I guess the Tommy Hilfiger shirt was supposed to distract me. Driving Down 1-4 we saw a flipped SUV. My mom having worked for the Fire Department immediately pulled over to help, and asked me to stay in the car. I watched as my Tiny Mother orchestrated a crowd of grown Men to push the SUV right side up. I couldn't take it anymore when no one could get inside the tiny crushed car. I rushed out of the car, and all I could hear was them saying there was a little girl in the car. I walked up behind my mom and told her I wanted to help. My mom turned around and as she did, I saw the most horrible sight of my life. This poor man was being crushed by car, he was breathing heavily, and blood was pouring out of his body. My mom watched my reaction, I fought back tears, swallowed the knot in my throat, I told my mom I wanted to help. We pulled the little girl out of the car, We got her as far away as we could, so they could help the poor man. His wife was also in the car, although she wasn't as badly injured. We laid the little girl on a scrap of the interior lining from the vehicle. She layed there, covered in blood. I don't even know if all it was from her. I tried to keep her talking. I kept telling myself, Stephanie Be calm. Be Calm. She told me her name was Jade. We talked about her father and Mother and where she lived and went to school. She asked if they were dying and I told her they were going to be alright. Although, I didn't know that was the totally the truth. What was I supposed to say? The ambulance arrived. You were put into the back, and you kept asking for me. They let me sit in the ambulance with you for a couple of minutes. You asked me if I was your Angel. I will never forget those words. Nor will I ever forget your face. I was not your Angel, I believe you were mine. Your family taught me a lot about life that day, and I will never forget you.
- Stephanie
I know you will never see this. But here's the story from my perspective. I know yours is vastly different. But in my eyes, YOU were the Angel.
My mom and I were driving to Daytona, I was roughly 12, maybe. My mom had bought me new clothes to wear to meet her new boyfriend. I guess the Tommy Hilfiger shirt was supposed to distract me. Driving Down 1-4 we saw a flipped SUV. My mom having worked for the Fire Department immediately pulled over to help, and asked me to stay in the car. I watched as my Tiny Mother orchestrated a crowd of grown Men to push the SUV right side up. I couldn't take it anymore when no one could get inside the tiny crushed car. I rushed out of the car, and all I could hear was them saying there was a little girl in the car. I walked up behind my mom and told her I wanted to help. My mom turned around and as she did, I saw the most horrible sight of my life. This poor man was being crushed by car, he was breathing heavily, and blood was pouring out of his body. My mom watched my reaction, I fought back tears, swallowed the knot in my throat, I told my mom I wanted to help. We pulled the little girl out of the car, We got her as far away as we could, so they could help the poor man. His wife was also in the car, although she wasn't as badly injured. We laid the little girl on a scrap of the interior lining from the vehicle. She layed there, covered in blood. I don't even know if all it was from her. I tried to keep her talking. I kept telling myself, Stephanie Be calm. Be Calm. She told me her name was Jade. We talked about her father and Mother and where she lived and went to school. She asked if they were dying and I told her they were going to be alright. Although, I didn't know that was the totally the truth. What was I supposed to say? The ambulance arrived. You were put into the back, and you kept asking for me. They let me sit in the ambulance with you for a couple of minutes. You asked me if I was your Angel. I will never forget those words. Nor will I ever forget your face. I was not your Angel, I believe you were mine. Your family taught me a lot about life that day, and I will never forget you.
- Stephanie
Thursday, July 29, 2010
Day 5 - Your Dreams
Dear Dreams,
I have seen many of you come and go through the years. You change just as fast as I do. I am sorry I had to let some of you go. Reality sets in hard sometimes. Here's a compiled list of my dreams, in no particular order and probably short of some too.
Doctor Stephanie- Yes I wanted a to a pediatrician.
Dancer Stephanie- I wanted to join Elite so bad, but I never had the courage.
Cheerleader Stephanie- I would have gone through with this, if it weren't for my fear of Heights and tumbling.
Police Officer Stephanie- I am terrified of being killed, which I know can happen at anytime in everyday life. But you seem to open the invitation when you're a police officer.
Cosmetologist Stephanie- This one still isn't failed yet, but it's a dream non the less.
Model Stephanie- Lets face it, in 5th grade when I stopped growing this was a lost cause.
Wife Stephanie- This is a personal choice. I have chosen to not get married. It was at one point a dream.
Singer Stephanie- Yeah...Not gonna happen.
There are other dreams, this list could go on forever. These are just a few. There have been many dreams I have reached. And well, others.. Lets just say I fell out of the reality Tree and hit every branch on the way down.
To some of you, that still linger, I look forward to meeting you one day. Until then, adéu.
- Stephanie
I have seen many of you come and go through the years. You change just as fast as I do. I am sorry I had to let some of you go. Reality sets in hard sometimes. Here's a compiled list of my dreams, in no particular order and probably short of some too.
Doctor Stephanie- Yes I wanted a to a pediatrician.
Dancer Stephanie- I wanted to join Elite so bad, but I never had the courage.
Cheerleader Stephanie- I would have gone through with this, if it weren't for my fear of Heights and tumbling.
Police Officer Stephanie- I am terrified of being killed, which I know can happen at anytime in everyday life. But you seem to open the invitation when you're a police officer.
Cosmetologist Stephanie- This one still isn't failed yet, but it's a dream non the less.
Model Stephanie- Lets face it, in 5th grade when I stopped growing this was a lost cause.
Wife Stephanie- This is a personal choice. I have chosen to not get married. It was at one point a dream.
Singer Stephanie- Yeah...Not gonna happen.
There are other dreams, this list could go on forever. These are just a few. There have been many dreams I have reached. And well, others.. Lets just say I fell out of the reality Tree and hit every branch on the way down.
To some of you, that still linger, I look forward to meeting you one day. Until then, adéu.
- Stephanie
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
Day 4 - Your sibling (or closest relative)
I have a lot of Siblings. It isn't fair to choose just one of you. So Let me start with the Oldest.
Kristine- From the time I knew you existed, I wanted to know you. When I finally got to meet you, I wanted to be just like you. I was 13 when we finally got to meet, and I hated that I didn't get to see you like I did Melissa and Monica, but I loved you. More than I could have ever expressed. I accepted you as my sister. We had so many things in common except Age. You loved Britney Spears, and Billie. You wore platform shoes like the spice girls and knee high stockings. After I met you, I made mom buy me those things too. I listened to Britney Spears over and over cause it made me feel closer to you. I hate that you live in a different country. I hate that I don't get the opportunity to know you as person. I wish I could talk to you whenever I wanted. I would love to get that opportunity, and I am always ready and waiting. I love you.
Jennifer- I was so excited to know you were my Full Sister. Having the same Mom and Dad is not something I share with anyone else. I love how rambunctious you are. And how driven you are. You are more like our mom than you realize. I hate that I don't get to see you as often I would like. I know I will get to see you again, until then. You know how to get in touch with me.
Melissa. I don't even know where to start. Growing up, you were always the one I was getting compared to. Stephanie, be like Melissa, clean up like Melissa, Get good grades like Melissa. It seems as though the tables have turned. I am sorry things aren't working out as you planned. I know things are difficult. We love you Melissa, and only want the best for you. I can't tell you how much seeing you hurt breaks me apart. I wish I could just help you. I love you. You will always be my baby sister.
Monica- Baby Monkey. You were my little blessing. My little Baby Doll. From the moment Mom brought you home I loved you. I always looked out for you, and I will until I take my last breath. You're like a daughter to me, and I would do anything in this world for you. I am always here when you need me. For anything and everything.
Christina- My Mini Me. I love you so much. I am sorry I am not able to be a bigger part of your life. It's so difficult with me being so far away from you. I hope you know, I do love you. I do miss you, and I wish I could be the big sister to you that I would like to be. You know, if you need anything. I am always here for you. Love you sweety!
Kristine- From the time I knew you existed, I wanted to know you. When I finally got to meet you, I wanted to be just like you. I was 13 when we finally got to meet, and I hated that I didn't get to see you like I did Melissa and Monica, but I loved you. More than I could have ever expressed. I accepted you as my sister. We had so many things in common except Age. You loved Britney Spears, and Billie. You wore platform shoes like the spice girls and knee high stockings. After I met you, I made mom buy me those things too. I listened to Britney Spears over and over cause it made me feel closer to you. I hate that you live in a different country. I hate that I don't get the opportunity to know you as person. I wish I could talk to you whenever I wanted. I would love to get that opportunity, and I am always ready and waiting. I love you.
Jennifer- I was so excited to know you were my Full Sister. Having the same Mom and Dad is not something I share with anyone else. I love how rambunctious you are. And how driven you are. You are more like our mom than you realize. I hate that I don't get to see you as often I would like. I know I will get to see you again, until then. You know how to get in touch with me.
Melissa. I don't even know where to start. Growing up, you were always the one I was getting compared to. Stephanie, be like Melissa, clean up like Melissa, Get good grades like Melissa. It seems as though the tables have turned. I am sorry things aren't working out as you planned. I know things are difficult. We love you Melissa, and only want the best for you. I can't tell you how much seeing you hurt breaks me apart. I wish I could just help you. I love you. You will always be my baby sister.
Monica- Baby Monkey. You were my little blessing. My little Baby Doll. From the moment Mom brought you home I loved you. I always looked out for you, and I will until I take my last breath. You're like a daughter to me, and I would do anything in this world for you. I am always here when you need me. For anything and everything.
Christina- My Mini Me. I love you so much. I am sorry I am not able to be a bigger part of your life. It's so difficult with me being so far away from you. I hope you know, I do love you. I do miss you, and I wish I could be the big sister to you that I would like to be. You know, if you need anything. I am always here for you. Love you sweety!
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Day 3 - Your Parents
Dear Mom,
I love you. With all of my heart. You raised me, and I think given the circumstances we were put in you did a good job. I feel as though I am a good person with good morals. I learned to be just as hard headed as you, and sometimes it's not always a bad thing. We may but heads, and sometimes argue, but you're my Mother. I love you more than words could ever express. I don't know what I would do if I couldn't talk to you every day. If I even think about it, I break down. I love Mom, no matter what.
Dear Dad, I am so grateful you have become a part of my life. I know it's difficult realizing after 21 years you have a new daughter. But, I have to say, you took the news really well. I am glad I know who I look like, and where I get some of my quarks from. I look forward to getting to know you. I know the distance makes it hard, and the time that passed doesn't make it easy. But, there's a love there that only a Daughter could have for a father. It doesn't matter how far apart we are. You may not have gotten to raise me, but you're blood runs through my veins, and it helped me who I am today. So thank you. I love you Dad.
I love you. With all of my heart. You raised me, and I think given the circumstances we were put in you did a good job. I feel as though I am a good person with good morals. I learned to be just as hard headed as you, and sometimes it's not always a bad thing. We may but heads, and sometimes argue, but you're my Mother. I love you more than words could ever express. I don't know what I would do if I couldn't talk to you every day. If I even think about it, I break down. I love Mom, no matter what.
Dear Dad, I am so grateful you have become a part of my life. I know it's difficult realizing after 21 years you have a new daughter. But, I have to say, you took the news really well. I am glad I know who I look like, and where I get some of my quarks from. I look forward to getting to know you. I know the distance makes it hard, and the time that passed doesn't make it easy. But, there's a love there that only a Daughter could have for a father. It doesn't matter how far apart we are. You may not have gotten to raise me, but you're blood runs through my veins, and it helped me who I am today. So thank you. I love you Dad.
Monday, July 26, 2010
Day 2 - Your Crush
This is actually really difficult. I don't
think I have a physical Crush, nothing worth
writing about anyway. I have "Celebrity"
crushes, but who writes that junk down
anyway... Hmm....
Ok. Here goes nothing.
Dear "Insert Name here,"
I saw you hanging out at a friends house a
couple times, and you even joined us on a
couple nights out on the town. I was
immediately taken by you. There was
definitely something there. I know you felt
it too. I honestly don't think I am alone in
this boat. It's the way you, talk and the way
you acted. But, I think about you from time
to time. Always wondering, what if. Guess it
just wasn't meant to be, and that's why
they're called crushes. I do wish you the
best though.
-Stephanie.
think I have a physical Crush, nothing worth
writing about anyway. I have "Celebrity"
crushes, but who writes that junk down
anyway... Hmm....
Ok. Here goes nothing.
Dear "Insert Name here,"
I saw you hanging out at a friends house a
couple times, and you even joined us on a
couple nights out on the town. I was
immediately taken by you. There was
definitely something there. I know you felt
it too. I honestly don't think I am alone in
this boat. It's the way you, talk and the way
you acted. But, I think about you from time
to time. Always wondering, what if. Guess it
just wasn't meant to be, and that's why
they're called crushes. I do wish you the
best though.
-Stephanie.
Day 1 - Your Best Friend
This should be easy enough. I am so glad I didn't get one of the tough ones to start off with. Anyway, here we go.
Shannon. Sitting next to you in Economy, I had no idea years later we would end up best friends. We had a couple of other classes too, but you rarely showed up to those, so I will leave it at Economy.
When we became pregnant around the same time, it was so nice to have someone to relate too. Hanging out with you, was such a relief. You knew exactly what I was going through, and vice versa. Little did I know our lunch dates to Steak N Shake for Chili Cheese Fries, and trips to shop for baby things would build up the friendship we have now. After I moved, I had such a hard time coping with not having someone to hang out with. But our web chats and phone conversations pushed me through. You are honestly my best friend. I don't think we will ever not have eachother in our lives. I am glad we weren't so close in High School. We are above the drama, and we don't argue or bicker. We never run out of things to say, and you're like the other side of my brain. Which ever side is better at Math anyway. You're definitely the Peanut Butter to my Jelly. And I don't laugh as hard with anyone else. Thank you for seeing me through my ups and downs. I don't even have to say anything else, you're probably laughing at this.. Knowing exactly how I sound as if I was saying this to you in person! You literally read my mind.. Miss you more than you know!!
-Stephanie.
Shannon. Sitting next to you in Economy, I had no idea years later we would end up best friends. We had a couple of other classes too, but you rarely showed up to those, so I will leave it at Economy.
When we became pregnant around the same time, it was so nice to have someone to relate too. Hanging out with you, was such a relief. You knew exactly what I was going through, and vice versa. Little did I know our lunch dates to Steak N Shake for Chili Cheese Fries, and trips to shop for baby things would build up the friendship we have now. After I moved, I had such a hard time coping with not having someone to hang out with. But our web chats and phone conversations pushed me through. You are honestly my best friend. I don't think we will ever not have eachother in our lives. I am glad we weren't so close in High School. We are above the drama, and we don't argue or bicker. We never run out of things to say, and you're like the other side of my brain. Which ever side is better at Math anyway. You're definitely the Peanut Butter to my Jelly. And I don't laugh as hard with anyone else. Thank you for seeing me through my ups and downs. I don't even have to say anything else, you're probably laughing at this.. Knowing exactly how I sound as if I was saying this to you in person! You literally read my mind.. Miss you more than you know!!
-Stephanie.
Sunday, July 25, 2010
30 Letters in 30 Days- Intro
So, I recently came upon an interesting concept. Everyday for 30 days (lets hope anyway) I will be posing a letter to someone that influenced my life in some way. I got this idea from Britnie, you can view her blog Here. So here's the gist of it.
Day 1 - Your Best Friend
Day 2 - Your Crush
Day 3 - Your Parents
Day 4 - Your sibling (or closest relative)
Day 5 - Your Dreams
Day 6 - A Stranger
Day 7 - Your Ex-boyfriend/girlfriend/love/crush
Day 8 - Your favorite internet friend
Day 9 - Someone you wish you could meet
Day 10 - Someone you don't talk to as much as you'd like
Day 11 - A deceased person you wish you could talk to
Day 12 - The person you hate most/caused you a lot of pain
Day 13 -Someone you wish you could forgive
Day 14 - Someone you've drifted away from
Day 15 - The person you miss the most
Day 16 - Someone that's not in your state/country
Day 17 - Someone from your childhood
Day 18 - The person that you wish you could be
Day 19 - Someone that pesters your mind - good or bad
Day 20 - The one that broke your heart the hardest
Day 21 - Someone you judged by their first impression
Day 22 - Someone you want to give a second chance to
Day 23 - The last person you kissed
Day 24 - The personthat gave you your favorite memory
Day 25 - The person you know that is going through the worst of times
Day 26 - The last person you made a pinky promise to
Day 27 - The friendliest person you knew for only one day
Day 28 - Someone that changed your life
Day 29 - The person that you want to tell everything to, but too afraid to
Day 30 - Your reflection
I look forward to opening up to this. I promise I will be 100% honest with you, but even more so with myself. I have the right to reserve names, so I don't feel like this person should be named. Sucks for you. You will still get the rest of the letter intended for them. I plan on entering my first post tonight. So if you'd like you're more than welcome to check back, or take a peek tomorrow. If you're one of the people you feel my letter pertains too, and you'd like to discuss it.. With the exception of Day 12. Please feel free to message me!
-Stephanie.
Day 1 - Your Best Friend
Day 2 - Your Crush
Day 3 - Your Parents
Day 4 - Your sibling (or closest relative)
Day 5 - Your Dreams
Day 6 - A Stranger
Day 7 - Your Ex-boyfriend/girlfriend/love/crush
Day 8 - Your favorite internet friend
Day 9 - Someone you wish you could meet
Day 10 - Someone you don't talk to as much as you'd like
Day 11 - A deceased person you wish you could talk to
Day 12 - The person you hate most/caused you a lot of pain
Day 13 -Someone you wish you could forgive
Day 14 - Someone you've drifted away from
Day 15 - The person you miss the most
Day 16 - Someone that's not in your state/country
Day 17 - Someone from your childhood
Day 18 - The person that you wish you could be
Day 19 - Someone that pesters your mind - good or bad
Day 20 - The one that broke your heart the hardest
Day 21 - Someone you judged by their first impression
Day 22 - Someone you want to give a second chance to
Day 23 - The last person you kissed
Day 24 - The personthat gave you your favorite memory
Day 25 - The person you know that is going through the worst of times
Day 26 - The last person you made a pinky promise to
Day 27 - The friendliest person you knew for only one day
Day 28 - Someone that changed your life
Day 29 - The person that you want to tell everything to, but too afraid to
Day 30 - Your reflection
I look forward to opening up to this. I promise I will be 100% honest with you, but even more so with myself. I have the right to reserve names, so I don't feel like this person should be named. Sucks for you. You will still get the rest of the letter intended for them. I plan on entering my first post tonight. So if you'd like you're more than welcome to check back, or take a peek tomorrow. If you're one of the people you feel my letter pertains too, and you'd like to discuss it.. With the exception of Day 12. Please feel free to message me!
-Stephanie.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)
