Day 12 - The person that caused you a lot of pain

This was originally going to be for a specific person, but they are so unimportant in my life. I decided not even to waste my time in speaking about the feeling I felt at one point. Because that part of my life is gone. So... I decided to write about the one person who can get themselves in said situations to be hurt.


Dear Self,

I guess, I would never me better than anyone else. Usually any pain that I go through is usually self inflicted, from lack of judgment and naivety. I put my self in situations with people who I KNOW will hurt me. I don't know why I feel the need to fix people. Or feel like they will change when they've made the same mistakes 500 times before. If people don't change the first time, they never will. I don't understand how you can stick around in situations where you allow yourself to be hurt! One day, I will stop trying to make everyone else a better person and actually work on myself. I've also learned, no one else can make fun of you if you make fun of yourself first. It's definitely my coping mechanism. I really try not to look in the mirror and criticize every detail I feel like I hate but I do everyday. I hate that! I wish I could be happy with myself. I hate that I can't wake up in the morning fresh faced and messy hair and feel confident. I wish I could truly accept my new body! I hate that when it comes time to talk about, I make it a joke. Maybe one day you will come to terms with who you are inside and out.


Me!